The Sexuality Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the BrainAs I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and males use love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles interpret excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these singles, having sex brings enormous meaning and effects.
Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:
A.they think sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready as well).
B.more frequently, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they have sex.
So, instead of looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels besides physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), which makes the opportunity to have sex with somebody we are attracted to incredibly tough to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), makings us feel very near to and bonded with our sex partner.
These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , resulting in powerful feelings of attraction, excitement, wellness, nearness, and love .
When problems develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is great!" They more than likely would not admit it, however they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay men, states that a number of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.
" For gay males particularly in urban areas, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".
However, North adds, "I believe this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is important. Yet, chemistry is a offered that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow over time.
When the hormone-induced intoxication wears read the article off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger company website relationship failure.
To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This indicates combining chemistry with good sense. While great sex is important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete focus on your vision, worths, goals, and requirements -- while feeling all those interesting stimulates!